"No greater opportunity or obligation can fall the lot of a human being than to be a physician. In the care of the suffering, he needs technical skill, scientific knowledge, and human understanding. He who uses these with courage, humility and wisdom will provide a unique service for his fellow man and will build an enduring edifice of character within himself. The physician should ask of his destiny no more than this, and he should be content with no less."
HPIM 16e
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Lingering thoughts
Perhaps, I was right from the start. I should never have trusted some people. I live in a world so much different than theirs. A world that's so much more alive, colorful, bright, and vibrant than they could possibly ever imagine. A sophisticated, high end, exclusive world, they probably will never ever touch or even get a glimpse of in their pathetic lives. I was always ahead. But I stumbled in a foolish trap. I stooped down. I nearly became one of them. And I hated myself for that.
Monday, January 21, 2008
RP's richest
The Philippines’ growing economy and robust stock market, assisted by a strong peso and a declining dollar, have boosted the fortunes of its richest citizens.
For the first time in years Forbes magazine has included a Filipino among the world’s top billionaires. It also listed 39 others as Philippines’ richest, with a total worth of $17 billion.
The complete list of the Philippines’ 40 richest:
1. Jaime Zobel de Ayala and family ($2 billion)
2. Henry Sy and family ($1.7 billion)
3. Lucio Tan and family ($1.6 billion)
4. Andrew Tan ($1.1 billion)
5. Manuel Villar ($940 million)
6. George Ty ($870 million)
7. Andrew Gotianun ($860 million)
8. Enrique Razon Jr. ($820 million)
9. Tony Tan Caktiong and family ($790 million)
10. Oscar Lopez and family ($775 million)
11. Vivian Que Azcona and family ($670 million)
12. Inigo and Mercedes Zobel ($660 million)
13. Eduardo Cojuangco Jr. ($540 million)
14. Emilio Yap and family ($445 million)
15. John Gokongwei Jr. and family ($430 million)
16. Enrique Aboitiz and family ($375 million)
17. Alfonso Yuchengco and family ($365 million)
18. Beatrice Campos ($220 million)
19. David Consunji and family ($210 million)
20. Luis Virata ($200 million)
21. Gilberto Duavit Jr. and family ($191 million)
22. Menardo Jimenez and family ($190 million)
23. Felipe Gozon and family ($165 million)
24. Mariano Tan and family ($140 million)
25. Ramon del Rosario Jr. ($137 million)
26. Ronaldo and Rosalinda Hortaleza ($110 million)
27. Manuel Zamora ($105 million)
28. Betty Ang ($100 million)
29. Tomas Alcantara and family ($90 million)
30. Frederick Dy ($70 million)
31. Wilfred Steven Uytengsu Sr. ($60 million)
32. Salvador Zamora ($55 million)
33. Oscar Hilado and family ($51 million)
34. Philip T. Ang ($50 million)
35. Magdaleno Albarracin Jr. ($49 million)
36. Jesus Tambunting ($47 million)
37. Antonio Roxas ($36 million)
38. Manuel Pangilinan ($35 million)
39. Marixi Rufino-Prieto and family ($33 million)
40. Lourdes Montinola ($30 million)
For the first time in years Forbes magazine has included a Filipino among the world’s top billionaires. It also listed 39 others as Philippines’ richest, with a total worth of $17 billion.
The complete list of the Philippines’ 40 richest:
1. Jaime Zobel de Ayala and family ($2 billion)
2. Henry Sy and family ($1.7 billion)
3. Lucio Tan and family ($1.6 billion)
4. Andrew Tan ($1.1 billion)
5. Manuel Villar ($940 million)
6. George Ty ($870 million)
7. Andrew Gotianun ($860 million)
8. Enrique Razon Jr. ($820 million)
9. Tony Tan Caktiong and family ($790 million)
10. Oscar Lopez and family ($775 million)
11. Vivian Que Azcona and family ($670 million)
12. Inigo and Mercedes Zobel ($660 million)
13. Eduardo Cojuangco Jr. ($540 million)
14. Emilio Yap and family ($445 million)
15. John Gokongwei Jr. and family ($430 million)
16. Enrique Aboitiz and family ($375 million)
17. Alfonso Yuchengco and family ($365 million)
18. Beatrice Campos ($220 million)
19. David Consunji and family ($210 million)
20. Luis Virata ($200 million)
21. Gilberto Duavit Jr. and family ($191 million)
22. Menardo Jimenez and family ($190 million)
23. Felipe Gozon and family ($165 million)
24. Mariano Tan and family ($140 million)
25. Ramon del Rosario Jr. ($137 million)
26. Ronaldo and Rosalinda Hortaleza ($110 million)
27. Manuel Zamora ($105 million)
28. Betty Ang ($100 million)
29. Tomas Alcantara and family ($90 million)
30. Frederick Dy ($70 million)
31. Wilfred Steven Uytengsu Sr. ($60 million)
32. Salvador Zamora ($55 million)
33. Oscar Hilado and family ($51 million)
34. Philip T. Ang ($50 million)
35. Magdaleno Albarracin Jr. ($49 million)
36. Jesus Tambunting ($47 million)
37. Antonio Roxas ($36 million)
38. Manuel Pangilinan ($35 million)
39. Marixi Rufino-Prieto and family ($33 million)
40. Lourdes Montinola ($30 million)
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Jump Scene
This has to be the most climactic scene for a movie with a very anticlimactic ending. Nevertheless, SUNSHINE remains one of my favorite movies of 2007.
Friday, January 18, 2008
I'm still here
And you see the things they never see
All you wanted, I could be
Now you know me, and I'm not afraid
And I wanna tell you who I am
Can you help me be a man?
They can't break me
As long as I know who I am
And I want a moment to be real,
Wanna touch things I don't feel,
Wanna hold on and feel I belong.
And how can the world want me to change,
They’re the ones that stay the same.
They can’t see me,
But I’m still here.
They can’t tell me who to be,
‘Cause I’m not what they see.
And the world is still sleepin’,
While I keep on dreamin’ for me.
And their words are just whispers
And lies that I’ll never believe.
And how can they say I never change
They’re the ones that stay the same.
I’m the one now,
‘Cause I’m still here.
All you wanted, I could be
Now you know me, and I'm not afraid
And I wanna tell you who I am
Can you help me be a man?
They can't break me
As long as I know who I am
And I want a moment to be real,
Wanna touch things I don't feel,
Wanna hold on and feel I belong.
And how can the world want me to change,
They’re the ones that stay the same.
They can’t see me,
But I’m still here.
They can’t tell me who to be,
‘Cause I’m not what they see.
And the world is still sleepin’,
While I keep on dreamin’ for me.
And their words are just whispers
And lies that I’ll never believe.
And how can they say I never change
They’re the ones that stay the same.
I’m the one now,
‘Cause I’m still here.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
R E N D I T I O N
Today was such a weird day. Too many things happened in such a short span of time, I had difficulty catching up. I was soul searching one second, before I knew it, I was panicking the next, then internalizing, then all of a sudden I realized some of my mentors were trying to keep us under lock and key for not doing some of the procedures correctly. It actually didn't make sense! Worse, the Globe networks went awry all of a sudden, I couldn't send a text message for a couple of minutes! I went out of the house today and had no idea I was going to be sent to a hostile seemingly stoic world to be rendered.
First soul searching. This was weird, I did not know what came into my mind when I decided to think about the things I've done in the past few months. I laughed at the stupidity of the thought that once again I'm regretting the things I've done. I've wasted so much time on something I actually forgot so many other things and so many other people need my help, my time and attention. Too bad I won't be able to get that back. It's not money, obviously. It's time. Is it possible to take back time? Is it possible for the people who took my time to actually return it? In my wildest dreams! I've lived my life regretting. It's a fact. There are things I've done last year that just proved I was after all just human: gullible, tactless, naive, spoiled, and blind. I was just in a state of denial that some people were after all not worthy of my time and effort, thus my continued wastage of time and effort!!! Will they be able to give it back? Of course not! I lost. period.
Panicking. Before I knew it, I was panicking. I realized I had touched a very sensitive thought in this primitive brain of mine. Something I should just have left alone. And I panicked. I struggled to get the thought out of my mind. I had better things to do and so many more important things to take care of and there it was on my mind! I had to panic. I was upset, angry, mad. Thus....
Internalizing. I had to keep it to myself. All this hatred, anger, sadness, sorrow, I had to swallow them all. I had uncovered a truth that was too devastating to bear, too horrible to hear, and as usual, I was in a state of denial. But it was the truth. It hurt, I've made a fool out of myself for the longest time in years. For chrissake, I'm a postgraduate student, I've finished college, I'm in medical school, I'm going to be a doctor and yet I've made a fool out of myself! How could I be so gullible? Stupid! The only people who need me are my family, friends, and future patients. No one else. It dawned on to me, the old adage "choose your friends, and choose them wisely" Had I followed that one carefully, none of these would have had happened, and I would have been happier in the past few months and today. I wouldn't have to bear the pain of failure and disappointment. I feel so ashamed. If there was a moment in my life where I'd want the whole world to open up and just swallow me, this would be it.
In the end, I forgot I was still in the hospital OPD, and I had to do some important procedures but because of my stupidity, did it with such profound incompetence I wondered if I was a medical student at all. There, the doctor had to reprimand me in front of the patient and my colleagues. He attempted to incarcerate us all until we learn the procedure properly and be able to do it in an actual patient with flying colors. So I had to text someone to pick my kid in school since I might not be able to do that because of this debacle. Then bang! The Globe networks went awry, and none of us loyal Globe users were able to text or call! WTF!!! We tried and I tried for the next 45 mins. still nothing. SHIT! I was cursing to the high heavens for the chastisement that has been brought upon me on this day. When the networks were back, I had to make a call as quickly as possible and I breathed a sigh of relief when I learned that my kid went to a party and needn't be picked up in school.
I went out into the world today and was awfully rendered.
First soul searching. This was weird, I did not know what came into my mind when I decided to think about the things I've done in the past few months. I laughed at the stupidity of the thought that once again I'm regretting the things I've done. I've wasted so much time on something I actually forgot so many other things and so many other people need my help, my time and attention. Too bad I won't be able to get that back. It's not money, obviously. It's time. Is it possible to take back time? Is it possible for the people who took my time to actually return it? In my wildest dreams! I've lived my life regretting. It's a fact. There are things I've done last year that just proved I was after all just human: gullible, tactless, naive, spoiled, and blind. I was just in a state of denial that some people were after all not worthy of my time and effort, thus my continued wastage of time and effort!!! Will they be able to give it back? Of course not! I lost. period.
Panicking. Before I knew it, I was panicking. I realized I had touched a very sensitive thought in this primitive brain of mine. Something I should just have left alone. And I panicked. I struggled to get the thought out of my mind. I had better things to do and so many more important things to take care of and there it was on my mind! I had to panic. I was upset, angry, mad. Thus....
Internalizing. I had to keep it to myself. All this hatred, anger, sadness, sorrow, I had to swallow them all. I had uncovered a truth that was too devastating to bear, too horrible to hear, and as usual, I was in a state of denial. But it was the truth. It hurt, I've made a fool out of myself for the longest time in years. For chrissake, I'm a postgraduate student, I've finished college, I'm in medical school, I'm going to be a doctor and yet I've made a fool out of myself! How could I be so gullible? Stupid! The only people who need me are my family, friends, and future patients. No one else. It dawned on to me, the old adage "choose your friends, and choose them wisely" Had I followed that one carefully, none of these would have had happened, and I would have been happier in the past few months and today. I wouldn't have to bear the pain of failure and disappointment. I feel so ashamed. If there was a moment in my life where I'd want the whole world to open up and just swallow me, this would be it.
In the end, I forgot I was still in the hospital OPD, and I had to do some important procedures but because of my stupidity, did it with such profound incompetence I wondered if I was a medical student at all. There, the doctor had to reprimand me in front of the patient and my colleagues. He attempted to incarcerate us all until we learn the procedure properly and be able to do it in an actual patient with flying colors. So I had to text someone to pick my kid in school since I might not be able to do that because of this debacle. Then bang! The Globe networks went awry, and none of us loyal Globe users were able to text or call! WTF!!! We tried and I tried for the next 45 mins. still nothing. SHIT! I was cursing to the high heavens for the chastisement that has been brought upon me on this day. When the networks were back, I had to make a call as quickly as possible and I breathed a sigh of relief when I learned that my kid went to a party and needn't be picked up in school.
I went out into the world today and was awfully rendered.
In Apparent distress
The truth hurts. They always say "What you don't know won't hurt you" I just wished I had been more careful in my life. I just wished I was smarter and made the right decisions back in the day. I just wished I wasn't such a sorry ass and a loser to actually make a fool out of myself for the past few months. I just wished, I never knew anything about something. (That's what you get for being too pushy, naggy and idiotic, come on, you can do better than this)
A few bad decisions along the way, and my whole life ended in some pool of shit. I've lived 23 no 24 years of my life in utter disappointment. I've never made a decision I've never regretted. NEVER. It feels like I just spent my whole life experimenting just about anything I could get my hands on. Such a spoiled loser. I treat patients right now, but unfortunately I don't have a license, I take history, attempt to formulate a strategy to bring the patient back to life. And what do I get? Experience perhaps, knowledge, maybe. I guess this is the whole medicine experience. And believe me, I'm starting to regret it. I wish medicine would be over in a blink and I'll have my own clinic, and treat patients, and just live a luxurious life. But I know that won't happen. I'm just dreaming.
If there only was a way to undo all the things I have done in the past few months. If there only was a way. I was such an idiot to follow what was obviously just pipe dreams, and failed aspirations. In the end, there was really nothing in there for me. Nothing as in zero. Just some delusional crap coming out of other diseased and delusional fellows. We were living in the belief that somehow things would turn out the way we wanted it to be. But life ain't like that. We struggle, we work hard, we sacrifice, and still things NEVER turn out the way we want it to be.
"What you don't know won't hurt you." It's true. If only, I wasn't so touchy in other people's opinions and thoughts maybe, and just maybe, things would turn out differently. If only I was a bit more openminded, I wouldn't have ended in yet another trap. I've lived my life in utter disappointment. And yet again, so early in 2008, I'm disappointed. I'm beginning to regret the things I've done in 2007. There are some things not worth my time, some people not worth my effort. A storm is coming, and I better prepare for it. 2008 will be the longest year of my life.
A few bad decisions along the way, and my whole life ended in some pool of shit. I've lived 23 no 24 years of my life in utter disappointment. I've never made a decision I've never regretted. NEVER. It feels like I just spent my whole life experimenting just about anything I could get my hands on. Such a spoiled loser. I treat patients right now, but unfortunately I don't have a license, I take history, attempt to formulate a strategy to bring the patient back to life. And what do I get? Experience perhaps, knowledge, maybe. I guess this is the whole medicine experience. And believe me, I'm starting to regret it. I wish medicine would be over in a blink and I'll have my own clinic, and treat patients, and just live a luxurious life. But I know that won't happen. I'm just dreaming.
If there only was a way to undo all the things I have done in the past few months. If there only was a way. I was such an idiot to follow what was obviously just pipe dreams, and failed aspirations. In the end, there was really nothing in there for me. Nothing as in zero. Just some delusional crap coming out of other diseased and delusional fellows. We were living in the belief that somehow things would turn out the way we wanted it to be. But life ain't like that. We struggle, we work hard, we sacrifice, and still things NEVER turn out the way we want it to be.
"What you don't know won't hurt you." It's true. If only, I wasn't so touchy in other people's opinions and thoughts maybe, and just maybe, things would turn out differently. If only I was a bit more openminded, I wouldn't have ended in yet another trap. I've lived my life in utter disappointment. And yet again, so early in 2008, I'm disappointed. I'm beginning to regret the things I've done in 2007. There are some things not worth my time, some people not worth my effort. A storm is coming, and I better prepare for it. 2008 will be the longest year of my life.
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